Meme was out of the house real early this morning. I wondered what on earth could be so important that she'd leave me so early, and with no breakfast (I always get extra food when she has breakfast). She didn't seem upset so I thought maybe she was headed out for some special treats or something.
Boy was I ever wrong ... and so was she!!! She thought she'd be gone a little over an hour ...ha! Instead what happened next set her brain in a tailspin (pardon the pun) and she came home dragging and all meshuggeneh. So while she's recovering I'll do my best to translate what she said and tell it as close as I can to how she told us.
There are some words we should never trust ... things like "mild discomfort", "you'll feel a bit of a pinch", and now this new one: "maybe a little rushing or flushing sensation". These are words commonly used in, you guessed it, the medical profession. And if some friend tells you a test was "a piece of cake", don't trust them either because we're betting they were slipped something under the table from somebody somewhere ... maybe a Starbucks gift card (more on that later).
Seems Meme went for a Nuclear Stress Test. She can't have the regular kind because of problems from her car accident. She made the mistake of not googling 'nuclear stress test' before she went today; she googles everything under the sun so this was an oversight or maybe not. I don't get it at all because one of her favorite sayings is "forewarned is forearmed". Well, poor Meme wasn't armed at all this morning!
She arrived at 8:30 a.m., right on time. She'd been barred from all food and drink since last night and no caffeine since yesterday morning. So already she's not off to a good start. And then she woke up with an awful headache ... two strikes.
Strike three was over an hour wait which I think is a huge no-no for a stress test!!! No coffee, no food, and now an hour wait? I mean, are you serious? Let's stress this lady out first and then do a stress test. So when she finally got in (the doctor was late ... what else is new?), her BP (usually very low) was up. But given the temper tantrum she was trying to control, she thought it was pretty darned low all things considered.
She's been fortunate health-wise throughout her life. She's had chicken pox, tonsillitis, colds, flu's, a few relatively minor surgeries, back problems and one major car accident. Other than that, she's in really good health when you think about all the birthday cakes she's eaten. But she's had a lot of tests and according to her sometimes tests can be as bad as whatever is wrong. Now and then we just may be better off riding it out and letting the chips fall where they may.
She can't have a "closed" MRI, goes insane in the tube. But going in for this test, it never occurred to her a tube was involved. So finally, IV inserted (surprise...who knew?), she walks into the room where everyone is being way too friendly and warm while the room is absolutely frigid. It's over 90 outside, why do these places have to be so darned cold? She sees the table and the tube and decides to remain calm and not give herself away. No one wants to be a wimp.
As instructed, she lay down on the table with her head in some sort of pillowed device that didn't feel bad at all. She was then attached to all sorts of monitors. She couldn't see so she didn't know what, probably just as well. She mentioned she was really cold and they gave her a blanket which was nice, but didn't help her bare arms which had to be stretched way above her head the entire time. They tell her this will take just 25 minutes and all she has to do is lie completely still.
Easy right? Easy wrong. Lying still is not as simple as it sounds because it's another word (at Meme's age) for instant cramping, her foot going numb, and itches on her cheek and eyelid that she can't wiggle or scratch away because she's not supposed to move. So Meme decides to use meditation. Visions of beaches, soft breezes on her cheek and the soothing sea start to form in her mind as she prepares to lift herself from where she is and put herself in another place and time. She can do this.
Suddenly the table starts moving into the tube and Meme's tiny voice says "you're not leaving me inside the tube, are you?" No, no ... not to worry, going straight through. Midway, the table stops. Instant anxiety attack begins and she calls out "Don't leave me in this tube!!" Silence. "HellOOOOOOO! Get me out of this tube!!" ... not such a tiny voice anymore. And a seemingly distant voice says they're just taking a couple of pictures and then they'll take her out. "I CAN'T BE IN THIS TUBE!!!"
Pictures finished for the moment, they push her all the way through, but by now she's a nervous wreck. They tell her the first set of pictures will be 10 minutes; lie perfectly still breathing normally, being careful not to move her arms or chest. What seems like 3 hours later they inject the medicine into her vein so they can see how her heart functions under stress.
So Meme says "Will I feel it?". A new voice answers "You may feel a small rush, but it will be gone in a couple of minutes". Okay, not so bad ... Meme was a young girl in NY in the 70's, a small rush could be a good thing, even better than meditating.
"Small rush"???? Ha! I don't think so! Meme says she felt a sudden surge like she'd never felt before, her heart beating fast but more than that ... an alien force seemed to go through her entire body ... almost felt like she would explode. So she said "I'm not liking this a whole lot". Her doctor was there to soothe her, saying it was all okay, that she and the others were there to "guard" her. Guard her!!!???? Why oh why, she thought, do I need guards???
Thankfully she read only later that in the rarest of circumstances it's possible one could experience a heart attack or other "complication" during the test. Terrific. She didn't. She survived. And because of the inconvenience of the long wait, they gave her a Starbucks gift card for $10!!! Pretty nice. That should cover a tasty mocha latte enchilada at the very least.
She was barely able to walk out of there she was so hungry, so longing for caffeine and a really delicious treat. She managed to get behind the wheel and drive about a mile to the nearest Starbucks where she had a good strong cup of Joe along with a yummy chocolate chip coffee cake (not a drop for me...go figure).
She sat in her car just feeling so good to have it over. So she popped over to Panera's for a couple of scones to take home and an asiago cheese bagel to wash down the chocolate chip coffee cake. I know!!! Go for a stress test to check if your arteries are flowing free and then load those same arteries down with plaque!!! But I don't get to tell Meme what to do.
Here's my conclusion, though. Beware of tests. I've had them and I know. They tell you there's nothing to it, done in a jiffy, it won't hurt or only a mild "discomfort". But it's just not true. Even the tests are the pits and I think that oftentimes things are better just left alone. Let the body do its thing and when your time's up, it's up. We live too darned long anyway and something's gotta getcha at some point. The main thing we need to do is hope it's quick. Pray for quick.
Yeah, okay, so maybe you disagree. That's okay. All I know is Meme came home from lying on a table for 30 minutes and to hear her tell it you would think she'd run like a gazelle to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. She lasted about an hour before lying down and falling into a blissful sleep, leaving me all on my own to tell you her story, even typing it out myself here.
The moral according to me? Ask for only the most basic of information before going in for any testing if you're going to do it at all because reading everything on google is going to make you crazy. If you're over 65 skip the tests unless you're actually sick. Believe me, they'll test you for everything if you let 'em. Chances are you're fine and you'll give up half your day for nothing ... someone will make a lot of money and it won't be you.
But what do I know? I'm just a little white dog.
'Til Next Time ...
Molly
Boy was I ever wrong ... and so was she!!! She thought she'd be gone a little over an hour ...ha! Instead what happened next set her brain in a tailspin (pardon the pun) and she came home dragging and all meshuggeneh. So while she's recovering I'll do my best to translate what she said and tell it as close as I can to how she told us.
There are some words we should never trust ... things like "mild discomfort", "you'll feel a bit of a pinch", and now this new one: "maybe a little rushing or flushing sensation". These are words commonly used in, you guessed it, the medical profession. And if some friend tells you a test was "a piece of cake", don't trust them either because we're betting they were slipped something under the table from somebody somewhere ... maybe a Starbucks gift card (more on that later).
Seems Meme went for a Nuclear Stress Test. She can't have the regular kind because of problems from her car accident. She made the mistake of not googling 'nuclear stress test' before she went today; she googles everything under the sun so this was an oversight or maybe not. I don't get it at all because one of her favorite sayings is "forewarned is forearmed". Well, poor Meme wasn't armed at all this morning!
She arrived at 8:30 a.m., right on time. She'd been barred from all food and drink since last night and no caffeine since yesterday morning. So already she's not off to a good start. And then she woke up with an awful headache ... two strikes.
Strike three was over an hour wait which I think is a huge no-no for a stress test!!! No coffee, no food, and now an hour wait? I mean, are you serious? Let's stress this lady out first and then do a stress test. So when she finally got in (the doctor was late ... what else is new?), her BP (usually very low) was up. But given the temper tantrum she was trying to control, she thought it was pretty darned low all things considered.
She's been fortunate health-wise throughout her life. She's had chicken pox, tonsillitis, colds, flu's, a few relatively minor surgeries, back problems and one major car accident. Other than that, she's in really good health when you think about all the birthday cakes she's eaten. But she's had a lot of tests and according to her sometimes tests can be as bad as whatever is wrong. Now and then we just may be better off riding it out and letting the chips fall where they may.
She can't have a "closed" MRI, goes insane in the tube. But going in for this test, it never occurred to her a tube was involved. So finally, IV inserted (surprise...who knew?), she walks into the room where everyone is being way too friendly and warm while the room is absolutely frigid. It's over 90 outside, why do these places have to be so darned cold? She sees the table and the tube and decides to remain calm and not give herself away. No one wants to be a wimp.
As instructed, she lay down on the table with her head in some sort of pillowed device that didn't feel bad at all. She was then attached to all sorts of monitors. She couldn't see so she didn't know what, probably just as well. She mentioned she was really cold and they gave her a blanket which was nice, but didn't help her bare arms which had to be stretched way above her head the entire time. They tell her this will take just 25 minutes and all she has to do is lie completely still.
Easy right? Easy wrong. Lying still is not as simple as it sounds because it's another word (at Meme's age) for instant cramping, her foot going numb, and itches on her cheek and eyelid that she can't wiggle or scratch away because she's not supposed to move. So Meme decides to use meditation. Visions of beaches, soft breezes on her cheek and the soothing sea start to form in her mind as she prepares to lift herself from where she is and put herself in another place and time. She can do this.
Suddenly the table starts moving into the tube and Meme's tiny voice says "you're not leaving me inside the tube, are you?" No, no ... not to worry, going straight through. Midway, the table stops. Instant anxiety attack begins and she calls out "Don't leave me in this tube!!" Silence. "HellOOOOOOO! Get me out of this tube!!" ... not such a tiny voice anymore. And a seemingly distant voice says they're just taking a couple of pictures and then they'll take her out. "I CAN'T BE IN THIS TUBE!!!"
Pictures finished for the moment, they push her all the way through, but by now she's a nervous wreck. They tell her the first set of pictures will be 10 minutes; lie perfectly still breathing normally, being careful not to move her arms or chest. What seems like 3 hours later they inject the medicine into her vein so they can see how her heart functions under stress.
So Meme says "Will I feel it?". A new voice answers "You may feel a small rush, but it will be gone in a couple of minutes". Okay, not so bad ... Meme was a young girl in NY in the 70's, a small rush could be a good thing, even better than meditating.
"Small rush"???? Ha! I don't think so! Meme says she felt a sudden surge like she'd never felt before, her heart beating fast but more than that ... an alien force seemed to go through her entire body ... almost felt like she would explode. So she said "I'm not liking this a whole lot". Her doctor was there to soothe her, saying it was all okay, that she and the others were there to "guard" her. Guard her!!!???? Why oh why, she thought, do I need guards???
Thankfully she read only later that in the rarest of circumstances it's possible one could experience a heart attack or other "complication" during the test. Terrific. She didn't. She survived. And because of the inconvenience of the long wait, they gave her a Starbucks gift card for $10!!! Pretty nice. That should cover a tasty mocha latte enchilada at the very least.
She was barely able to walk out of there she was so hungry, so longing for caffeine and a really delicious treat. She managed to get behind the wheel and drive about a mile to the nearest Starbucks where she had a good strong cup of Joe along with a yummy chocolate chip coffee cake (not a drop for me...go figure).
She sat in her car just feeling so good to have it over. So she popped over to Panera's for a couple of scones to take home and an asiago cheese bagel to wash down the chocolate chip coffee cake. I know!!! Go for a stress test to check if your arteries are flowing free and then load those same arteries down with plaque!!! But I don't get to tell Meme what to do.
Here's my conclusion, though. Beware of tests. I've had them and I know. They tell you there's nothing to it, done in a jiffy, it won't hurt or only a mild "discomfort". But it's just not true. Even the tests are the pits and I think that oftentimes things are better just left alone. Let the body do its thing and when your time's up, it's up. We live too darned long anyway and something's gotta getcha at some point. The main thing we need to do is hope it's quick. Pray for quick.
Yeah, okay, so maybe you disagree. That's okay. All I know is Meme came home from lying on a table for 30 minutes and to hear her tell it you would think she'd run like a gazelle to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. She lasted about an hour before lying down and falling into a blissful sleep, leaving me all on my own to tell you her story, even typing it out myself here.
The moral according to me? Ask for only the most basic of information before going in for any testing if you're going to do it at all because reading everything on google is going to make you crazy. If you're over 65 skip the tests unless you're actually sick. Believe me, they'll test you for everything if you let 'em. Chances are you're fine and you'll give up half your day for nothing ... someone will make a lot of money and it won't be you.
But what do I know? I'm just a little white dog.
'Til Next Time ...
Molly
